The Perfectionist's Dilemma: How Pressure to be Perfect Impacts Your Relationship with Food and Body
Do you have a tendency to view anything less than perfect as unacceptable? Do you strive to avoid making mistakes at all costs?
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterised by a person holding themselves to excessively high and rigid personal standards, fear of failure, being overly critical of oneself and, in some cases, avoidance. It can manifest in various aspects of life - including how we approach health, and our relationship with food and our bodies.
While striving for excellence can of course be a really positive trait, a relentless pursuit of flawlessness can have an unhelpful and potentially harmful side, and can amplify and perpetuate problems with eating and body image, significantly influencing eating behaviours, fuelling engagement in restrictive diets, and disordered eating.
In this blog, I explore the perils of perfectionism, and I provide five ways perfectionists can find more balance.
FOOD, BODY AND PERFECTIONISM
Here are some of the ways perfectionism can show up in someone’s relationship with food and their body:
All-or-nothing thinking: Perfectionists often adopt an all-or-nothing mentality towards eating. A single dietary slip can lead to feelings of failure that in turn triggers either extreme restriction or binge eating.
Rigid food rules: A need for control may drive perfectionists to establish strict dietary standards or rules. These rules are often unrealistic and unsustainable, leading to guilt and shame when they're (inevitably) broken.
Obsessive calorie counting: Tracking every morsel of food can become an obsession, overshadowing the enjoyment of meals and turning eating into a stressful chore.
Fear of "bad" foods: Labelling foods as "good" or "bad" creates a negative emotional association with eating. Consuming so-called "bad" foods can trigger self-criticism and anxiety.
Body dissatisfaction: Perfectionists can be highly critical or judgemental of their bodies and appearance. It is complex as the standards they aspire to may be driven by both internal pressures and external/societal pressures. However, the constant comparison to an idealised body image can result in chronic body dissatisfaction, no matter how healthy or fit they actually are.
Avoidance behaviours: One of the core processes of perfectionism is a fear of failure, which ironically means that for some people perfectionism can set the scene for procrastination. ‘Perfection paralysis’ could show up as having difficulty starting or continuing healthy habits or activities because they don’t believe they can do them well enough. Avoidance could also present as a person allowing how they feel about their body to get in the way of socialising or doing other things that matter to them in life.
Perfectionism can take a heavy psychological toll, including increased anxiety, lower self-esteem, social isolation and mental exhaustion.
5 WAYS TO FIND MORE BALANCE
Finding a healthier, more peaceful relationship with food and your body is possible for those with perfectionist tendencies.
Here are five strategies based on two of the modalities I draw on heavily at Gut Reaction, called Intuitive Eating, and Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT), that can help transform perfectionism into an altogether more nourishing and satisfying approach to eating and living:
Practice self-compassion: Self-compassion is the ultimate antidote to perfectionism, and is a skill that can be learned. Practice replacing self-criticism with self-compassion. Recognise that everyone makes mistakes and that imperfection is simply a part of being human.
Reject the diet mentality: Let go of rigid diet rules and start trusting your body to guide your eating. Working with an Intuitive Eating Counsellor will help you to better understand the function of dieting in your life, and reject old ways of thinking about food that keep you trapped in restrictive patterns of eating.
Embrace flexibility: Allow yourself to be flexible with your eating habits. Understand that one meal or one day of eating doesn't define your overall health. Dialling back your perfectionism around food, even by 10%, can be a helpful starting point.
Identify your values: Clarify what truly matters to you beyond appearance and diet. In a society that prizes beauty and objectifies the female body, body dissatisfaction is sadly becoming the norm. One way to break free from the burden of perfectionist body ideals is to reclaim a focus on your personal values (for example, vitality or joy) and let these help guide your relationship with food and your body instead.
Cognitive defusion: ACT teaches techniques to unhook from unhelpful thoughts. When critical thoughts about food or your body arise, practice observing them and letting them pass without acting on them.
MY ConclusionS
Having ambitious standards for yourself, and feeling driven to take steps to eat nutritiously or to look after your body, are not the problem - in fact these can be positive forces for health and wellbeing. Unhelpful perfectionism behaviours on the other hand, are the ones that get in the way of you experiencing a sustainable, balanced relationship with food and your body; that can erode your physical and mental wellbeing; and ultimately move you away from what is actually important to you.
However, change is possible. If you relate to being a perfectionist around food and your body, then embracing principles from Intuitive Eating, and Acceptance and Commitment Training, can help you to cultivate self-compassion, flexibility, and a more balanced, fulfilling approach to eating and body image.
Take a positive step forward today
Are worries about food, weight, or overeating draining your time, energy, and peace of mind? Are you struggling with low mood, food cravings, gut health, or digestion challenges?
Old mindsets and habits can be hard to shift on your own. If you are looking to reset your eating patterns, make peace with your body, and reclaim your energy, I can help you.
Please check out my private programmes here, or contact me for an exploratory chat to find out more.
